A Little LessLove Part IV

She trudged back up the stairs after the long day in office. The lift was working alright but she had her new year resolutions to stick to. that to pursue a more active lifestyle. and activity for her had become restricted to taking the stairs wherever she could find them. Trudging up 13 floors were never pleasant and especially not with two heavy bags in both hands. But Shailaja was never one to be bogged down by any physical challenge. or mental or emotional. She was the tough one, the mature one and how proudly she had worn it around her neck till she grew sick off it. so sick she was ashamed of being mature. She was sick of carrying the weight around of being the bigger man every time with every one. Every single time.
She kept the bags to open the door of her apartment when she noticed the door was ajar and there was light coming out. Curiously the alarm bells didn't go off in her head. even before she entered the room she knew it was him. She knew he would be sitting there smoking. and fidgeting and counting the minutes. She had forgotten she had never asked him back for the key after they had stopped talking 6 months back. She had assumed he would lose it somewhere. She walked in and saw him lying on the sofa playing on his phone with his back toward her. He had not changed one single bit from how he had been when they were together. She went back to get the bags and shut the door with a bang. He jumped up from the sofa and looked at her. With same intensity, that mad passion which had driven her crazy. With that need, that searing desire. That hunger which had made her go weak. She was never able to resist his gaze. He had become haggard but he was the same in every other way. Always came to her as if he owned her, as if he had every right on her body. As if this was what they were born to do. To make mad love to each other.
He walked toward her. He came close enough that there bodies were within half an inch of each other. She could smell his perfume. He pulled her hair, hard, so hard it brought tears into her eyes. He looked deep into her eyes and kissed her. The moment his tongue came in contact with hers it sent pleasure waves coursing through her body. It was like getting electric shock. that was the moment she realised she could never resist this man. No matter how he treated her, no matter what he did, she had essentially become a slave for him to claim when he wanted , how he wanted. He wasn't kissing , he was devouring her with a hunger only he knew how to satiate. He tore her shirt and her bra along with it. He pulled down her skirt and her panty along with it. She was standing naked. All creamyand smooth in the soft light. Just like an apparition. too good to be true. Her silky smooth skin and those contours of her body. Every single contour he knew so well. He just stood there looking at her. drinking her through his eye. Up and down. He looked at her like a hungry child looks at candy which is forbidden to him, only this time he knew he would get what was forbidden. He took her there on the floor, the hard wooden floor. He could barely take his clothes off and enter her. He pulled her hands above her head and bit her on her neck. she shrieked out but both of them knew it was going to be brutal. and just the way the two of them liked. Rough, hard and beastly. There was nothing human like in the way they made love when they had unresolved issues between them. It was as if having sex liek animals would solve every other problem they had in their lives. He kept thrusting her, long and hard and she kept shouting and cursing him. It was as if they were battling each other only the weapons were their own genitals. Sh erolled him over and got on top and went at him with a vengeance till she came and he followed her within seconds and they both collapsed on each other exhausted. It was as if teh sex had drawn out all their anger, all the grudge, all the issues they had simmering between them for the last six months

Trials and Tribulations of an ordinary girl in an extraordinary world

As I sit in front of the TV watching a movie where-in a girl catches bullets fired at her with her hands and that too mind you with her eyes closed, I cannot help but wonder what are hapless ordinary women like me supposed to do who cannot catch a football thrown at them at .5m/s speed and that too mind you with two hands, two legs and eyes wide open. Sigh.. This is a chronicle of people for whom getting by daily and mundane days in life also poses big challenges.

Like for instance today, it was a routine lunch that that millions of people out on work grab at restaurants/food courts across the world. I too walked into one. And this particular food court had a card system, wherein you buy a card for x amount of money and then pay with your card at the different counters rather than with money. Well I seriously feel allowing people to pay with money is so much better and customer friendly (but more on that another day). So I walk with a swagger get a card, happily but myself food and eat it without much relish(given that my guilt is overworking overtime, I am not supposed to eat outside given that I have almost successfully ruined my liver). I then move quickly out to a store nearby to pick some stuff up which is when I realize that I forgot to return my card and get the balance money back. I run lugging along my , by this time, huge shopping bags, and reach the food court, huffing and puffing and start raising a ruckus about my stolen card. I send all of the staff into a tizzy, from the person at the counter who served me the food , to the Assistant manager F&B , to the security guards, to the people who are now sitting at the table which I had occupied when I lost my precious card. All the while the staff were going around sincerely trying to look for my card,  I stood there looking at each and every person like a detective would look at probable murder suspects and swearing under my breath , you will never get away with doing evil to a good soul.  After a considerable ruckus was raised and no card was found the manager tried to pacify me saying, he would give me a call as soon as he found the card as he couldn’t do anything without the card. I left the place but not before calling friends and family and telling them of my misfortune and also ruing the end of innocence err rather honesty. I finished my days work with a heavy heart and a lighter wallet.  In the evening, still in a victim mode I enter my apartment and dump my bag first thing and fish out my spare mobile phone to check for calls and no sooner I pull it out of its cover then plok, falls the much missed Card from the food court. Frankly,   I have never been more disappointed before at finding a lost item ever in my life. I mop a little more, my folly having replaced my victimhood as the centre of attention. And to rub salt over my musings about my almost delirious mind, I see the superwoman now flying through air killing baddies (The only thing I can kill with that much elan would probably be mosquitoes) and hum to myself an old hindi song…” tune kaheko duniya banayi “

I dream of..

I dream of blue skies
clear and bright
vanilla clouds
lazing around
I dream of a spring
bubling with life
laughing with abandon
yonder, below the rainbow
I dream of a warm hearth
filled with joy and laughter
I dream of a garden
wild roses abloom
I dream of a winter afternoon
warm and delicious
I dream of your head on my lap
and mine on yours
forever...

43 things about me

1. I often live in some place other than the present and mostly it is some faraway distant future.
2. I visit the past but not much, seldom to be precise. Sometimes some happy memories do trigger a sojourn into the past and sometime some not so happy ones.
3. When I was a kid I used to live in the present but a present that was very different than the one I would be in.
4. I was quite a lost child. I think I have carried that trait to my youth as well ;).
5. I used to read a lot. A bookworm. Still try to do, though not as much as but reading still is a first love.
6. I have the reading genes from both mom and dad.
7. I was an indoorsy kid, never much out and about, partly coz I was diagnosed with asthma very early on at 8 years of age.
8. I would be sitting in some corner of my own room, I wasn’t much fond of the bed and reading away.
9. I used to finish reading books at an alarming pace and would soon bug my parents to buy me more. Still do the former.
10. I got into bartering books in school, reading up books from the library whenever I could. All this reading led to a lot of day dreaming or so I believe.
11. Kid me would always be playing different situations and stories in my mind, and of course I would be the lead protagonist in all of these plots. Some of the plots were pretty elaborate.
12. Also I was very happy in my own fantasy world. This is not to say that I wasn’t friendly or popular but yes I had realized that I preferred my own company to that of others from a very young age.
13. Thankfully for me my parents let me be except the occasional push to socialize.
14. I found socializing a big burden even then.
15. I saw no point in being nice to people and smiling and making small talk when I could spend that time reading books, writing(yes I used to scribble lots of things by way of creative writing then too) or yes watching tv and day dreaming. These were my favorite pastimes.
16. The first thing that I wanted to be when I was young was a teacher. I really liked my teacher then.
17. I have always been a teacher’s pet and sometimes the affection was mutual.
18. Other kids hated me for being the teacher’s pet. And I loved being hated 
19. I still hold 2 sayings 2 of my teachers, at different points of time, had said to me very close to my heart.
20. The next thing I wanted to be was neuro surgeon or “brain surgeon” as I thought then. I have no clue why.
21. Sometime between 6-10 years of age I also wanted to be a writer. Still hold that desire somewhere deep in my heart.
22. My life was not uncomplicated though. My kiddy life was very happening. I always had a lot of performance pressure in terms of academics and I was also very competitive by nature.
23. Dad was more interested in my doing well in extra-currics. And I used to excel in that too. I have a ton of certificates to show for my efforts in my school life.
24. I grew up idolizing dad. Still do. Papa - you are my hero.
25. My mom was the biggest influence on me in my early life and I know a lot of me is her. Though it took me lot of time to realize that.
26. I call her twice everyday atleast. My day is incomplete if we haven’t talked.
27. My sister was my pillar of strength all through my childhood. She used to dote on me. I bullied her in return.
28. I was brought up like a single child. My sister lived with my grandparents.
29. She used to visit us during school vacations. We fought like crazy.
30. The worst fights were when she moved in with us when I was 17, she was a year older. But looking back, I couldn’t have done without her. Ever. Period.
31. This list suddenly doesn’t seem chronological. But what the heck, I didn’t mean it to be anyways.
33. I have changed a lot as a person from my childhood, to my teens, to my youth to whatever phase it is that a 28 year old belongs now.
34. I used to fiercely independent as a child, as a teen, as a gangly young adult, but now I am totally dependent on the apple of my eyes, my husband for emotional support.
35. I still think I don’t say it enough to him. So here goes – I love you… more 
36. I don’t know why this list reads like a life story. I didn’t intend it to be.
37. I moved around a lot as a kid.
38. The initial days used to be very difficult. But I was never afraid of change. I always used to look forward to it. Still do.
39. My illness(asthma) was a very convenient excuse for me not to participate in games and sports. However I was a tremendous sport. Always used to stand in for absentees on the field.
40. I won the badminton girls double champions in the eighth grade.
41. I also am lazy to the bone. And lose interest very quickly in people, places and things.
42. I have learnt classical dance-Odissi for two years. I say that I couldn’t continue coz Dad got transferred but the fact is I found it very tiring and after coming back from classes I would feign headaches so mom got worried and had me discontinue them 
43. The idea of putting together such a list is not original. I saw this in a blog I follow. I liked the style, but the content is original.