Woman, You gotta lead

8am meeting.Presentatin to the board. Idea gets shot down in the first five minutes. Opinion loaded against. Spot the pulse. Come back recharged after the break. Floor everyone. Standing Ovation- Woman, you gotta lead.

9 years of relationship. 4 years in college. 5 through all the ups and downs therafter. Rough weather,serious differences. You walk out of security and into heartache. Woman- You gotta lead.

The dream promotion. The cabin in the corner of the office in NewYork. The most coveted job. You give it up to take care of your parents. Woman- You gotta lead.

Friend is in trouble. Needs a milion dollar bailout. You have been saving to buy that house, that symblo of security. The one thing you have wanted since your childhood.You give him every single penny of it. Woman, you gotta lead.

Jab we Met

I was sauntering down the road happy with life, and a song on my lips. The star spangled sky was a treat to behold. Made me realize that some of the most beautiful things in life were natural. A thought for natural beauty. Just then I stopped in my tracks all of a sudden. I saw him standing there in the moonlight, tall and proud. Our eyes met.Flash. There was a glint of the unexplained in his eyes and a sudden leap of terror in my heart.Our eyes locked for a a second which lasted for ages. Terrified I jumped to my left and so did he, only faster than me and he hopped,skipped and jumped into the bushes as fast as its tiny froggy legs could carry him. I think I might have scared him more than he did me. Gosh , I never knew I too could be viewed as a scary thing, but I guess frogs get scared by everything under the sun otherwise who gets scared by PYTs (Pretty-young-Things! Duh!). But hadn't he been that scared by me , I might have tried to kiss him to find out if he were indeed a prince cast as frog by some evil witch. Well , one never knows ,does one?

Musings of a wandering mind

Yes, That might really be what I want. The one dream that has been cherished and nurtured and showered with a lot of tender care, so much so that it has almost become too fragile to bring out in the open. For fear the rain might run through it, the wind might blow it, the sun might burn it! But then after all these years when the moment comes to take it out from that cocoon and breathe life into it, I start having doubts. Is this what I want? Is this it? Is this how it feels when you see a much awaited for reality taking shape? Or is the feeling different? Is it not worth it because the path till here was full of heart stopping expectations ? Is the pain ,the agony of waiting,wishing ,wanting a lot sweeter than the ecstasy of seeing it come true?
Do I want to feel the pain coz I like it now? It has become a part of my existence and my days would lose meaning if I didn't spend 23 hours planning and dreaming it happen. Do I just want to experience the euphoria every minute , every second in my dreams or have it done with in one blazed , blurred moment and rest in peace for ever afterwards?

Fondness

There are somethings in life which are an instant hit, be it people, songs, movies, food, clothes, shoes, designs.. anything. The moment you set your eyes on them, then a connect happens straight to your heart. You just know that is it, this is exactly what you wanted. This is what you were looking for, searching, seeking and then a wave of happiness shoots through you and engulfs you. I have experienced the feeling many times and I am sure I am not alone in this.
But there are always things,people,places,you might not like or be indifferent to in the first glance,meeting, hearing, but which subsequently grow on you. Slowly but steadily, silently but gradually they grow, they cling and then before you realize they become an inseparable part of your being. Without your realizing it it has crept down from an insignificant position in a remote corner of your mind to a secure and cozy corner in your heart, not to be dislodged for a long long time to come. And this kind of liking or fondness can sometimes be painful too if you face a separation.
There have been numerous instances of this too in my life, a few of my closest buddies are one I had a positive dislike for in our first meeting, couple of my favorite songs are ones which I was sure I wouldn't listen to a second time.
Till I chance upon my next object of fondness of either type..

11th Novemeber

"Ok, McFlimsey didn't work out. So what? there were at least 15 other top bracket consulting firms who would be coming, you will surely get through one of them", Ankita had said during their team meeting for Market research. She knew it was easy for Ankita, after all she was a a sure shot merit lister and she already had a McFlimsey shortlist in her kitty, what did she know of the plight of the I-am_born-leader-but-I-have-nothing-to-show-for-it types. This leadership business was really killing her. Add to it her mother's domestic woes. This was the third day in the row the maid had not turned up and her mom had invited guests over. Her mother was getting hysterical and she was almost incoherent over the phone. Sulekha didn't know how to console her so she told her that her maid too had not turned up and that was because it was "Maid's day". Her mother had somewhat calmed down after listening to this and the situation was under control. Now , Sulekha or Silly has her friends called her could focus on the more pressing problems at hand.
The first of which was her project. She didn't have a clue about what to do and she was not sure whether people in her study group even bothered. She was sure she would land up with a B again. But then every dark cloud has a silver lining and every bollywood villain has a hero and every problem has a different reason for joy. she was looking forward to the special cuisine in the cafeteria. Talking of the cafe, they actually served special cuisine everyday , it was just that some day to add that extra zing they garnished it with either cockroaches,wires,fungus etc. Now what's wrong with that? Isn't differentiating yourself the new business mantra to survive?
That is after all expected from a b-school cafeteria. Sulekha didn't mind the cockroaches though. she sort of had a soft corner for them, so she was actually annoyed with the cafe guys killing the little innocent haplings and serving them up just to add spice.

Diary of Miss Metamorphosis

Chapter - 1

Well she always knew that the odds were stacked against her. Nothing would ever work in her favour. Lady luck loathed her , no she actually looked down on her and made sure she was never ever spotted in a 1 km radius around her. The symptoms were all there. How else do you explain in family in which almost everyone had exoti c names, she was called "Sulekha". Sulekha? what were they thinking? Sounds like they were utterly bored with life when they named her.Her sisters were called ahyaa and siyara. And Sulekha believed that theier popularity could largely be attributed to their exquisite names. Having a wild mane of hair obviously had not helped matters much neither the fact that she was not conventionally beautiful . Her mom had told her she was an unconventional beauty, but that was well that. Unconventional beauty? Whatever! So now when she had not got shortlisted for he rdream company McFlimsey , Sulekha knew it was cause she had a name which stuck out like a soiled rag.
Sulekha had left no stone unturned and no alum uncalled to get her resume in shape. She had called/e-mailed/sms-ed/way laid all the alums in the alum repository to get her resume McFlimsey ready. And so when after 1001 iterations her resume looked like the one she had started out with , she was no wonder shell shocked! What on earth was going on?Then she had done an optimization,( finally she was getting to apply all the fundas of her core terms )to come up with the ideal number of reviews for her resume and she had found the answer to be 889. Then she picked out the resume which had stored in her local drive as the 889th review and had applied. She had thought 1001 reviews and even NASA would take her in as their star Astronaut. But no McFlimsey had the gall to not shortlist her! If only they knew it was not her they had rejected but the combined effort of 889 of her alums and many McFlimsians in them!.. to be continued...

When the night falls

When the night falls
and the voices start to die
O my love do not say goodbye
Leave me not in the darkness
at the mercy of the evil
leave me not when the most I need you
Keep my trust, say you will
When its cold and quiet
take me in your arms
make me feel alright
All I need is you
All I want is you
If only you knew
would you say goodbye?

The M&B story

Last saturday I went to the city for something related to academia. But once that part was done I was free to soak in the sight and sounds of the city. But that is a separate story. What I am gonna write about tonite is that I bumped into someone I have grew up devouring! Yes a Mills and Boons Romance! Couldn't resist but pick two of these babies. All those teenage years when I must have read hundreds of these books came flashing by. That reading beneath the quilt before exams, those trading M&Bs secretly in school. Anyone who has ever read a MB can relate to the magic it creates in the mind of a 13 year old. Just the stuff dreams are made of. The MB hero is the epitome of manliness, TDH(tall ,dark and handsome), super rich, rugged, has raw power, square jaw line, is built like a cheetah, exudes charm, is the most caring , sensitive and gold hearted person. And boy does he know how to make women go weak in the knees! Sample this "Angelo was sinfully ,scorchingly sexy" ! The typical MB heroine might or might not be young and beautiful but the guy had to be a Greek god. And more often than not he would be a bad guy in the eyes of the gal, (why gals fall for bad boys is again a different story that I will take up another day ) and exudes animal charm, can and does use force on the gal but only if he gives in to attraction or for her own good.He pursues her, breaks her reserves, loves her to the point of madness and protects her from all evil. What more could a girl ask for? No wonder gals across continents go into tizzy and start making mental pictures of how they want their prince charming to be and behave. Mills and Boons is primarly written and targetted towards women but I do know men too read it on the sly. But never the less, no matter if people term it repetitive, trash or regressive or whatever, I can still not resist a MB. I am a self confessed fan of these books nad have alwyas wanted to write a passionate love story myself. Maybe the fantasies associated with MBs have gone but the magic still remains. A heart warming romance which leaves the heart a little more happy than it found it. Long live MB!

Nip in the air

I have always loved winter. Winter has this very cozy feeling about it. though winter has a lot of negative connotations in literature , I for one always loved it, moreso when I was a little kid. Winter brings cold with it but then that is the very reason we seek warmth and closeness. Winter afternoons bring with them a delicious sunshine. A light ,fluffy warm sunshine. I still remember , when I was around 12-13 , I used to scamper up to the rooftop with a novel and cozy up in a lazy chair with a sheet or two and then slowly fall asleep on it.
Winter mornings are the toughest though. Dragging oneself from the comfor of the quilt to the shower is very painful. the other less sweet thing about winter is the cold water if you don't happen to have hot water running from the taps. But maybe I wanted winter so much coz I always lived in places which got awfully hot and sultry in summer.
When I was in Chicago during winter for a short period of time My love for winter lessened a little. The first snowflake was exciting, I remember I danced during the first snowfall of the season in the middle of the night ,in bare legs and without a sweater. It felt like those fairy tales I had grown up reading about. beautiful and delicate snowflakes falling all around me and I gleefully danced oblivious to the cold.I very nearly had frost bite but that I guess was the magic of the first time. Slowly the white landscape added to the monotony and winter lost its sheen a little when I saw the harsh side of it.
Out here in Hyderabad , winter is currying favor with me agian. because here it just teases you . Its never too cold, not as yet anyways, for doing the typical wintry things, it just acts like an appetizer , leaving one craving for more.
Looking forward to winter in the city of nawabs, just to know how they felt when the temperatures dipped here.

Restless
There is something which is strangely unsettling. Is it the weather, the time of the day, the thousand thoughst on my mind or is it just me? Bored, sad, eager, lost, unexplainably happy, a little guilt : a dash of this and a dash of that: a pot pourri of emotions; can a person have all these feelings at the same time ? Does sitting with one's thoughts help one when one needs to sort things out or does it muddle it more? Am I posing too many questions? Do I want the answers to all of them? or is it just the questions I want?
I will let my mind wander some more till it throws up some more questions.